One day you are going through life and feeling okay and the
next you are hit by a train. Then you wait to see how bad the damage really is.
That was our day yesterday.
Grant was diagnosed literally two years ago - May 24, 2009.
He was been MRD 0 since day 8. (Meaning in remission and cancer free). Yesterday,
his bone marrow showed .05% leukemic blasts. A relapse is 5%. So these are very
low levels, but they are leukemic blasts that had not been there before. Yesterday,
Grant’s cancer showed back up.
Two months ago his PCR and FISH tests (tests that shows the
presence of Philadelphia Chromosome) was 0 – undetectable. I just don't
understand what changed. We have to wait till the FISH and PCR come back from yesterday’s
bone marrow. We should have the FISH test (less sensitive) and the PCR test
(VERY sensitive) back next week. (FISH results by Tuesday and PCR by Friday). If
those are bad, then we will have to talk about a bone marrow transplant. (My
nightmare come true) If they are still 0, then they will have to go back and
look at the marrow to see what is going on. I PRAY TO GOD that this is a
horrible mistake, that the FISH and PCR come back negative and that they
recheck his marrow and it is fine. I have said this before – cancer is a journey
ups and downs, twists and turns, and a ton of waiting – and it is the waiting that
is nauseating.
I think I knew something was wrong. Dr. Dreyer wanted to
wait a few more weeks to do this marrow check, but David and I asked her to
please move forward with it. After Grant’s bone marrow biopsy, David flew out
to Dallas to see our nephew Christopher graduate. While he was in the air, Dr.
Dreyer texted me “What number can I call you on?” I knew right then what she
was going to say. Before, we would get a text that said “MRD0!!!!!” I had the
kids in the car when I got the text and then my cell phone rang. I pulled over
and hear the words “It came back positive.”
I cried in front of Claire and Grant in the car on the
way home and of course they asked what was wrong. I simply said, "Grant’s
leukemia is back a little." Claire asked “why? I prayed about it. Did God
not get my note?” I tried to explain that I don’t know why it came back and
then Grant said, “Don’t worry, I will try harder.” That just killed me.
When I finally pulled up in the driveway, my neighbor was
outside and I asked her to sit with the kids while I called my sister, my parents
and waited for David to land in Dallas so I could break the news to him. That
was the worst call I could ever make. God love my husband. He had to hear over
the phone, in an airport, that his son was relapsing. Then, he had to try to
get home. David learned that Grant’s cancer was back at 6:30 p.m. and at 12:30
a.m. was still not home. I can’t imagine having to sit at an airport and on an
airplane and not be able to get home fast enough or be able to breakdown like
you want to.
I don’t know what the good Lord has in store for Grant and
our family, or what the next few days will be like. I just pray that we all
have the strength to get through this, and that Grant stays strong and beats
this disease and is cured – no matter what the results are this week. I am so
proud to be he and Claire’s mom and so lucky to be David’s wife.
Please, please pray hard for my sweet boy this week.